Recently, there was a fantastic twitter chat (as there is most weeks) conducted by @thegayya account about the merits of gay characters being 'in' or 'out' of the closet at the outset of a young adult novel. There were a wide variety of opinions and the chat inspired this blog post by @movingmetaphor . I recommend checking it out.
@Malindalo pointed out, too, that it was important to deal with the aftermath of coming out. To have a look at the issues that come after the big crashing wave of angst and drama that is smashing down the closet door. I agree strongly with this point, and there's a little issue that I am constantly trying to raise and work in to these conversations that I wasn't able to bring up at the time.
Being Gay Is A Lot Of Hard Work.
Or so it seems to those who are yet to come out, anyway. I vividly remember thinking about this as a teenager and perusing the various books and forums that dealt with teenage homosexuality. Coming out was hard, sure. But once you do, holy shit! There's so much to do.
For a start, you have to argue with conservatives. Like, all the time. There are rallies to attend. You've got to make signs. You have to dress in bright colours and draw attention to the cause. You've got to be across the issues that affect you and be ready to defend your very existence on a second's notice, because ignorance is everywhere and it's up to you to put it right. Because...you know. Nobody else will, right? This is how it is on the TV. You become an out gay person and, by default, you become an activist.
That idea, I have to tell you, scared me even more than the prospect of explaining to my friends why I really liked watching all those games of rugby.
I think it's really important that this is not a message we actively try to send young people. I've seen it plenty of times--on TV especially--that the gay kid comes out and suddenly becomes the president of the safe sex club and the homophobia awareness council. The very idea that this might be a thing that people are expected to do after coming out is enough to scare some kids right to the back of the closet, where resistance is minimal.
I think the message we ought to be sending instead is that it is not their responsibility to defend their own existence. It is not a requirement, and nor is it even a reasonable expectation, that they will have to justify themselves to anyone, let alone fight for rights that ought to be theirs in the first place. Some of them may choose to do this and all power to them -- I'm counting on a lot of them to do this. It just seems to me that the superior moral lesson to bestow, especially in YA books, is that gay people need do nothing extra than a straight person.
So let's see those stories about characters that came out some time ago. Let them deal with the unique issues that come with things like second relationships and break ups and friendships that grow distant. But think twice before making them crusaders for equality. That's a lot of weight of expectation to put on people who are only recently out of childhood.
Being gay ought not to be a second job. It's just that part of yourself that determines who you love. Anything and everything outside of that is optional.
@Malindalo pointed out, too, that it was important to deal with the aftermath of coming out. To have a look at the issues that come after the big crashing wave of angst and drama that is smashing down the closet door. I agree strongly with this point, and there's a little issue that I am constantly trying to raise and work in to these conversations that I wasn't able to bring up at the time.
Being Gay Is A Lot Of Hard Work.
Or so it seems to those who are yet to come out, anyway. I vividly remember thinking about this as a teenager and perusing the various books and forums that dealt with teenage homosexuality. Coming out was hard, sure. But once you do, holy shit! There's so much to do.
For a start, you have to argue with conservatives. Like, all the time. There are rallies to attend. You've got to make signs. You have to dress in bright colours and draw attention to the cause. You've got to be across the issues that affect you and be ready to defend your very existence on a second's notice, because ignorance is everywhere and it's up to you to put it right. Because...you know. Nobody else will, right? This is how it is on the TV. You become an out gay person and, by default, you become an activist.
That idea, I have to tell you, scared me even more than the prospect of explaining to my friends why I really liked watching all those games of rugby.
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| I'm fairly certain this only happened in my head. |
I think it's really important that this is not a message we actively try to send young people. I've seen it plenty of times--on TV especially--that the gay kid comes out and suddenly becomes the president of the safe sex club and the homophobia awareness council. The very idea that this might be a thing that people are expected to do after coming out is enough to scare some kids right to the back of the closet, where resistance is minimal.
I think the message we ought to be sending instead is that it is not their responsibility to defend their own existence. It is not a requirement, and nor is it even a reasonable expectation, that they will have to justify themselves to anyone, let alone fight for rights that ought to be theirs in the first place. Some of them may choose to do this and all power to them -- I'm counting on a lot of them to do this. It just seems to me that the superior moral lesson to bestow, especially in YA books, is that gay people need do nothing extra than a straight person.
 |
| Also, cancel Terra Nova! |
So let's see those stories about characters that came out some time ago. Let them deal with the unique issues that come with things like second relationships and break ups and friendships that grow distant. But think twice before making them crusaders for equality. That's a lot of weight of expectation to put on people who are only recently out of childhood.
Being gay ought not to be a second job. It's just that part of yourself that determines who you love. Anything and everything outside of that is optional.
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