Or,
'Why you should never listen to writing advice, including this - part 1.'
The title is wordy enough, so I didn't have time to be as specific as I wanted to be. If I were to properly title this series it would probably be something like this:
'A look at the kinds of writing advice that you may commonly receive but can safely ignore if you aren't a bit stupid.'
So if you aren't a bit stupid and you've ever been given sage advice about writing -- even from extremely successful writers --, read on. If you do consider yourself a bit stupid, well...geez. Buck up, pal. I don't think you're stupid! :-)
The 140 Characters Rule
Before I go on, you'll notice that a lot of this advice comes in a very specific form. It's catch phrase advice. Sound byte advice. You can fit it neatly into a tweet. Think of it as a 140 characters rule. If you can tweet it, be sceptical of it.
You'll come across writing advice that is much longer than this, of course. Stephen King wrote an entire book about writing, because he's meta like that, and extensive author interviews will often delve a little deeper than a pithy one-liner. When it comes to this kind of advice, always read it if you have the time and interest. Comprehensive advice is good. Lap that stuff up.
As for the other stuff, well. Let's have a look.
On Inspiration
I don't think it's a coincidence that advice about finding inspiration usually turns out to be full of the most uninspiring bullshit known to man. It's a thing that interviewers ask about a lot, and hence a thing that children and aspiring authors want to know a lot about. They don't want to be ogres when they answer these questions, and so they do what any rational adult does when backed into a corner by earnest, naive belief:
They make stuff up.
They're writers, they're good at it. This is when you start hearing a bunch of nonsense about walks in the woods, sunsets over oceans and -- WORST of all -- the dreaded 'muse'.
It's all waffle. It doesn't mean anything.
Here's a typical kind of quote you might see:
Oh, cool. That's nice, I suppose. Let's see what else there is.
Hmm. I don't know that that's true. Well, how about this! It's a 20 minute TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer of 'Eat, Pray, Love', and it's a kind of rambling speech about how creativity shouldn't be in the hands of creative people, but rather some undefined, vaguely extra-bodily thing called a Genius. If you have time, give it a listen. It's nice enough.
...Oh.
Well...uh, I suppose there's a lot to take away from this sort of thing. Like the...um. Huh. Well, maybe that...there...is...hm. Actually, you know what? There's nothing to take away. It's literally useless advice, packaged in such a way so that a non-discerning listener can nod and smile and think they've heard something profound.
There might be an existential level on which this vaguely makes sense, but that is not a plane on which an author can conduct the business of actually writing a novel. See? It's the perfect storm of uselessness. To make head or tail out of the topic of inspiration, you have to take yourself to a headspace that is completely non-conducive to being able to write.
The Unintended Consequences of Bad Advice
The net result of all of this is that new and aspiring writers will get off to a false start. They'll sit down and begin to write. They might last fifteen minutes or so, and then discover something odd. They aren't being struck by the inspiration that everyone was talking about. There's no fire at the end of their pencil. They haven't woken up in the middle of the night once to write anything. And though they have spent thousands of dollars demolishing their walls, they didn't find a thing that could be called a 'Genius' in there.
They will wonder what is wrong with them. They will assume that maybe this whole writing game isn't for them. If they were any good, after all, they'd have written a perfect first draft by now in the middle of the night with a fire pencil and gone out for shots with their Genius.
If this is you, reader, then please...don't listen to these inspiration addicts. I promise you, they are making it all up as they go along.
Who should I listen to about inspiration, then?
Listen to the people who seem to have their head screwed on right. Thankfully, on this particular topic, it many of the most successful and admired writers tend to agree that hard work is the key. If you are lucky enough to be, or become, a successful author, don't do others the disservice of perpetuating the myth of inspiration. It's unhelpful. It will put newcomers off. There is just no good outcome. It's all lies.
Don't lie to children. Don't lie to people who look up to you. Be one of the good guys. Be Picasso. Yes, that's right. We've entered a parallel dimension in which Pablo Picasso, world famous painter of things that are on the extremity of nonsensical, is offering the most salient of advice on the topic.
'Inspiration exists,' he said, 'but it must find you working.'
Not on a bolt from the blue. Not injected into your veins by a sallow-faced, drug pushing muse. Not at the bottom of a basket of kittens and rainbows and sunshine.
Working. Turning an empty page into a full one. If there's inspiration to be found, it is there.
And once we admit that, well. Isn't it time we just gave the idea away entirely? It saves a step.
'Why you should never listen to writing advice, including this - part 1.'
The title is wordy enough, so I didn't have time to be as specific as I wanted to be. If I were to properly title this series it would probably be something like this:
'A look at the kinds of writing advice that you may commonly receive but can safely ignore if you aren't a bit stupid.'
So if you aren't a bit stupid and you've ever been given sage advice about writing -- even from extremely successful writers --, read on. If you do consider yourself a bit stupid, well...geez. Buck up, pal. I don't think you're stupid! :-)
The 140 Characters Rule
Before I go on, you'll notice that a lot of this advice comes in a very specific form. It's catch phrase advice. Sound byte advice. You can fit it neatly into a tweet. Think of it as a 140 characters rule. If you can tweet it, be sceptical of it.
You'll come across writing advice that is much longer than this, of course. Stephen King wrote an entire book about writing, because he's meta like that, and extensive author interviews will often delve a little deeper than a pithy one-liner. When it comes to this kind of advice, always read it if you have the time and interest. Comprehensive advice is good. Lap that stuff up.
As for the other stuff, well. Let's have a look.
On Inspiration
I don't think it's a coincidence that advice about finding inspiration usually turns out to be full of the most uninspiring bullshit known to man. It's a thing that interviewers ask about a lot, and hence a thing that children and aspiring authors want to know a lot about. They don't want to be ogres when they answer these questions, and so they do what any rational adult does when backed into a corner by earnest, naive belief:
They make stuff up.
They're writers, they're good at it. This is when you start hearing a bunch of nonsense about walks in the woods, sunsets over oceans and -- WORST of all -- the dreaded 'muse'.
It's all waffle. It doesn't mean anything.
Here's a typical kind of quote you might see:
I sit in the dark and wait for a little flame to appear at the end of my pencil.
- Billy Collins
Oh, cool. That's nice, I suppose. Let's see what else there is.
You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.
― Saul Bellow
Hmm. I don't know that that's true. Well, how about this! It's a 20 minute TED talk by Elizabeth Gilbert, the writer of 'Eat, Pray, Love', and it's a kind of rambling speech about how creativity shouldn't be in the hands of creative people, but rather some undefined, vaguely extra-bodily thing called a Genius. If you have time, give it a listen. It's nice enough.
...Oh.
Well...uh, I suppose there's a lot to take away from this sort of thing. Like the...um. Huh. Well, maybe that...there...is...hm. Actually, you know what? There's nothing to take away. It's literally useless advice, packaged in such a way so that a non-discerning listener can nod and smile and think they've heard something profound.
There might be an existential level on which this vaguely makes sense, but that is not a plane on which an author can conduct the business of actually writing a novel. See? It's the perfect storm of uselessness. To make head or tail out of the topic of inspiration, you have to take yourself to a headspace that is completely non-conducive to being able to write.
The Unintended Consequences of Bad Advice
The net result of all of this is that new and aspiring writers will get off to a false start. They'll sit down and begin to write. They might last fifteen minutes or so, and then discover something odd. They aren't being struck by the inspiration that everyone was talking about. There's no fire at the end of their pencil. They haven't woken up in the middle of the night once to write anything. And though they have spent thousands of dollars demolishing their walls, they didn't find a thing that could be called a 'Genius' in there.
They will wonder what is wrong with them. They will assume that maybe this whole writing game isn't for them. If they were any good, after all, they'd have written a perfect first draft by now in the middle of the night with a fire pencil and gone out for shots with their Genius.
If this is you, reader, then please...don't listen to these inspiration addicts. I promise you, they are making it all up as they go along.
Who should I listen to about inspiration, then?
Listen to the people who seem to have their head screwed on right. Thankfully, on this particular topic, it many of the most successful and admired writers tend to agree that hard work is the key. If you are lucky enough to be, or become, a successful author, don't do others the disservice of perpetuating the myth of inspiration. It's unhelpful. It will put newcomers off. There is just no good outcome. It's all lies.
Don't lie to children. Don't lie to people who look up to you. Be one of the good guys. Be Picasso. Yes, that's right. We've entered a parallel dimension in which Pablo Picasso, world famous painter of things that are on the extremity of nonsensical, is offering the most salient of advice on the topic.
'Inspiration exists,' he said, 'but it must find you working.'
Not on a bolt from the blue. Not injected into your veins by a sallow-faced, drug pushing muse. Not at the bottom of a basket of kittens and rainbows and sunshine.
Working. Turning an empty page into a full one. If there's inspiration to be found, it is there.
And once we admit that, well. Isn't it time we just gave the idea away entirely? It saves a step.
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